Did you think you were going to read something interesting about me?
I'm not much for creative biographies.
Walking the boulevard of broken dreams..... Unless you consider that I was born inside the gas tank of a B-1 Bomber, I was raised by a pack of she-wolves, and dated Vampirella for a while. Who dropped acid? They better pick it up! I drag raced down Hell Highway against The Zombies (and lost) and punched a hole through a piston with a speck of sand. Mmmmm. Guacamole. F-F-F-Foolin'. Da-da-dadadah! F-F-F-Fooooolin'.
After that, Jayne Mansfield's corpse hunted me down and spanked me (trust me, when it happens to you, you can't do a damn thing about it). Devil girls riding chrome rockets on a purple sky with stars blazing. Peyote at dusk with guitarslingers gunning each other down in a sleepy desert town. Bewaaaare the mYsTiC eYe!! Poker in the front, liquor in the rear, spade flush and double gut shot draw. Poker is an art. And war.
I guess that's it. Except,
I see dead people
and
ASP stings hurt like a kick in the balls.
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